כִּֽי־יִהְיֶ֣ה לְאִ֗ישׁ בֵּ֚ן סוֹרֵ֣ר וּמוֹרֶ֔ה אֵינֶ֣נּוּ שֹׁמֵ֔עַ בְּק֥וֹל אָבִ֖יו וּבְק֣וֹל אִמּ֑וֹ (תצא כא, חי)
“If a man has a son wayward and rebellious, not listening to his father and his mother” (Deut. 21:18)
First Reading: Why Children Don’t Listen
In the case of the wayward son, it is written, "He does not listen to the voice of his father and the voice of his mother." The Or HaChaim asks, with grammatical precision, why the verse uses the word “does not” in the form with two letters nun (אֵינֶנּוּ שֹׁמֵעַ) instead of the simpler form with just one letter nun (אֵינוֹ שֹׁמֵעַ). This phrase—“he does not listen”—actually appears twice: “He does not listen to the voice of his father and the voice of his mother" and "He does not listen to our voice." What is the difference between אֵינֶנּוּ and אֵינוֹ?
The Or HaChaim explains that אֵינֶנּוּ emphasizes that it is not just that he does not listen, but that the ability to hear has been removed from him. In his words, “the knowledge and ability to hear what is being said to him has been taken away.” He is simply incapable of listening. Based on his explanation, we can say that if the Torah had written “אֵינוֹ שֹׁמֵעַ,” the word שֹׁמֵעַ would have been interpreted as a verb, but now that it says "אֵינֶנּוּ שֹׁמֵעַ," the word שֹׁמֵעַ is interpreted as a noun—the child is not in the category of one who listens, as if it were saying that he is not wise.
To better explain his meaning, the Or HaChaim uses a parable:
Perhaps it is to hint that when a person crowns the evil inclination within themselves, the ability to understand and hear what is being said to them is removed, because the evil inclination stands at the doorway of the heart and prevents these things from reaching the soul. This is because they would compel the evil inclination to leave. I gave a parable about this: A king had gatekeepers who were thieves and bandits, and when people came to complain to the king about them, is it possible that these gatekeepers would grant them permission to enter and bring charges before the king? So too is this matter.
This is what it means when the verse says, “When a man has… he does not listen,” meaning he [the wayward son] is deprived of the capacity to listen, because the words do not reach him due to the barrier sitting between the two entrances of the heart, as the sages said.[1]
There is an expression from the Previous Rebbe about someone who damages one of their "senses," causing him to become insensitive or deaf. Incidentally, this isn’t the place to elaborate, but everything surrounding the topic of honoring parents and dishonoring parents (as discussed in the Rambam as well) is connected to deafness; we will leave that for another time, God willing.
The Parents' Responsibility
First, it says that he "does not listen" at all—he is entirely deprived of hearing, deaf on a deep, internal level. Then it adds, “to the voice of his father and the voice of his mother”—this is something additional. This implies that he has lost the ability to hear the voice of God, the spiritual Father, and the voice of Knesset Yisrael, the spiritual mother. And who caused this? The parents themselves, as it says, "He who spares the rod hates his son."[2]
The main point here, in simple terms, is that the ones to blame in this story are the parents. The parents are the ones who deafen the child's inner ear. When they neglect to supervise and educate him, they turn him into someone who is deprived of the ability to listen. Once he is unable to listen, it naturally follows that he cannot hear their voices, because he simply does not have the capacity to hear at all.
Education and the Yoke
This core idea here is captured in the word “hears” (שֹׁמֵעַ), which is a well-known acronym for “the yoke of the Kingdom of Heaven” (עֹל מַלְכוּת שָׁמַיִם). Without proper education to instill acceptance of this yoke, there is no hearing at all. The phrase "He who spares the rod hates his son" refers to the necessity of parental authority.
This ties back to what was mentioned earlier, that the recognition at the age of three involves acknowledging three authorities—this is the foundation of accepting the yoke of authority. Before the age of three, it's impossible to demand acceptance of this yoke, but at this point it is possible, and it depends on the parents.
Ultimately, all the responsibility lies with the parents, and this is especially evident in the child's ability to listen, which is the child's capacity for understanding and perception. We must avoid, God forbid, reaching a state of "he does not listen," which reflects a flaw in the acceptance of the yoke of Heaven. If there is a problem with the children, it is the parents who are to blame. Today, any therapist would likely agree with this. There is a snowball effect here, which the sages describe as “one mitzvah leads to another mitzvah,”[3] or its opposite.
וְכִֽי־יִהְיֶ֣ה בְאִ֗ישׁ חֵ֛טְא מִשְׁפַּט־מָ֖וֶת וְהוּמָ֑ת וְתָלִ֥יתָ אֹת֖וֹ עַל־עֵֽץ (תצא כא, כב)
“If a man has committed a sin deserving of death, and he is put to death, you must hang him on a tree.” (Deuteronomy 21:22)
Second Reading: The Passing of a Tzaddik
The Ramak (Rabbi Moshe Cordovero) is buried in the old cemetery of Safed, near the grave of the Arizal. According to tradition, when the Arizal arrived in Safed, he was present at the Ramak’s funeral. At that moment, the Arizal delivered a eulogy, quoting the verse, "And if a man has committed a sin deserving of death, and he is put to death, you must hang him on a tree." The Arizal explained the verse with a tone of amazement: "And if a man has committed a sin?"—these words express astonishment! How so? Usually, the title "man" (אִישׁ) in the Torah refers to a righteous person, as in "Noah was a righteous man, earnest in his generations"[4] and "Can we find such a man, in whom is the spirit of God?"[5] as well as, "Moses, the man of God."[6] Therefore, how could it be that "a man has committed a sin"? Our teacher Moshe who lies here before us is an exalted tzaddik. He is the "Moses of the generation," and thus it is impossible for him to have sinned. Yet, "he is put to death," despite being a righteous man, free from any sin, here he lies before us, dead. How can we understand the reason for his death?
The answer is, "you must hang him [blame the cause] on a tree." The cause of his death is linked to the sin of the Tree of Knowledge. In his own merit, he is a tzaddik and is not deserving of death at all. However, due to the sin of the Tree of Knowledge, the decree of death was imposed on all of humanity. As the sages say, "He died because of the bite of the serpent" (i.e., the consequence of the primordial serpent in the Garden of Eden).
כִּ֤י הוֹצִיא֙ שֵׁ֣ם רָ֔ע עַ֖ל בְּתוּלַ֣ת יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל (תצא כב, יט)
“For he has slandered a virgin of Israel” (Deut. 22:19)
Third Reading: Who is the Virgin of Israel
n the part of the Zohar called Ra’aya Meheimna, Moses’ soul root reveals Torah secrets to Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai and his students. The Ra’aya Meheimna mainly discusses the inner mysteries of the Torah’s commandments.
Interestingly, of all the seventy-four mitzvot enumerated in Parashat Teitzei, the principal commandment that is discussed in Ra’aya Meheimna on this parashah is the sin of a man who falsely claims that his bride was not a virgin. The concluding phrase that appears in the Torah is “for he has defamed a virgin of Israel.”[7]
The Zohar offers four examples to illustrate this sin, in each of which the “virgin of Israel” corresponds to a different metaphor. The idea that unites these metaphors is that at her spiritual root, the virgin of Israel always retains her innate purity, which can never be sullied.
The first example relates to the spies who defamed the Land of Israel. The spies were punished by death, an even more severe punishment than the man who defames his wife. In this example, the virgin of Israel is the Land of Israel, which they claimed was so totally under control by non-Jewish forces that even God could not redeem it. Land is always treated as a feminine entity and to claim that the sanctity of the Holy Land was sullied by the non-Jewish nations who lived there is tantamount to the groom’s false claim against his wife. The Zohar thus teaches us that expressing the idea that the Land of Israel cannot be freed from its foreign inhabitants, or from the hold other nations are trying to place upon it, defames the virgin of Israel. Obviously, this is as relevant in today’s circumstances as it ever was, perhaps even more so.
The second example relates to Queen Esther, who was taken against her will to become the wife of King Achashverosh. The Zohar reveals that although the verses state literally that Esther became Achashverosh’s wife, the claim that Esther was made impure by Achashverosh is also a defamation of the virgin of Israel. Instead, the Zohar reveals that Mordechai and Esther had the spiritual power to separate their “shadow” (i.e., their animal soul) from themselves and send it on a separate mission without being involved in the mission themselves.
By acting in this way, Esther, who reached the highest level of sanctity where she represents the Divine Presence, remained pure and in truth she never left her true soulmate, the righteous Mordechai. Here, the Zohar emphasizes that even if it seems that an individual Jew has sinned, in essence this is not the case and it is only his or her animal soul that has been defiled, “Your nation are all righteous.”[8] This comes to teach us that there is a point of righteousness in every Jew that can never be violated, even if he or she sins.
The third example is defaming the holy Torah by saying that there is less sanctity in the second Tablets than in the first Tablets that were broken by Moses. A person who thinks this is defaming the Torah’s ability to retrieve its virginity—its pristine state, as it were. This idea can be applied to many pertinent examples: a yeshivah student who undergoes a crisis in his Torah study; a child whose initial and earnest literal understanding of the Torah has been lost; or even someone whose mind has been contaminated by academic Biblical criticism. All these can ultimately reveal that although it may appear that the first tablets were defiled, God forbid, at its source the Torah retains its pure, unadulterated state. Reaching this level brings with it a new revelation of the Torah in all its purity.
In Ra’aya Meheimna, after Moses has brought the above three examples of defaming the virgin of Israel, the Prophet Elijah requests permission to speak, and he offers another example involving Moses himself. Elijah shows Moses that for a moment, following the worshipping of the Golden Calf, he had thought that the Jewish people as a whole had sinned, but in truth they had not. In fact, only the mixed multitude, whom Moses himself had insisted on taking out of Egypt together with the Jewish people, had sinned. Moses’ reaction to this accusation was to kiss Elijah and ask him to always accompany him when he teaches.
We can learn from Moses, who prayed with self-sacrifice to save the Jewish people from their “sin” but was accused by Elijah of defaming the virgin of Israel, that even if it appears that the entire Jewish people has sinned, God forbid, this is not true at all. In fact, the mixed multitude who were the instigators of the sin, were fragments of Moses’ own soul and he thus accepted the blame for the situation.
The mazal (מזל) of the month of Elul is a virgin. We learn from the Zohar here that our mission during this month in particular is to completely refrain from false accusations against the virgin of Israel: the Land of Israel, individual Jews and the righteous individual of the generation in particular, the Torah of Israel, and the people of Israel as a whole. In this way we too will rise to return to an unblemished state and all our sins will be forgiven to reveal that in truth, we have never sinned.
[1]. Berachot 61a: Rav said: The evil inclination is like a fly and it sits between the two entrances of the heart.
[2]. Proverbs 13:24. See the Or HaChaim’s own words on Deuteronomy 21:18.
[3]. Avot 4:2.
[4]. Genesis 6:9.
[5]. Ibid. 41:38.
[6]. Deuteronomy 33:1.
[7]. Deuteronomy 22:19.
[8]. Isaiah 60:21.
