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What Our Children Reveal About Us

The Ba’al Shem Tov had two children, a boy and a girl. His son was Rebbe Tzvi and his daughter was the famous Odel. Few know about Rebbe Tzvi and his descendants, while Odel’s descendants are famous. They include Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, his uncles the Degel Machaneh Ephraim and Rebbe Baruch of Mezhibuzh. What can we learn about the difference between a tzaddik’s sons and daughters from the history of the Ba’al Shem Tov’s family and how does this relate to each of us?

This class was given on the 7th of Tevet, 5786 and its transcript was first published in Hebrew in Nifla’ot for parashat Shemot of this year.

The Ba’al Shem Tov’s Grandchildren: Revealed and Concealed

The Ba’al Shem Tov’s son was Rebbe Tzvi whose yahrzeit is on the 7th of Tevet. His son, Rebbe Aharon of Titov’s yahrzeit is on the 5th of Tevet. Both lived their lives out of the limelight; in this, they resembled the concealed tzaddikim that the Ba’al Shem Tov was a part of until he was forced to reveal himself. Indeed, both were known in their lifetimes as tzaddikim, and they had followers, but they never sought publicity and lived in poverty. Rebbe Aharon once proclaimed that had he so wished, he would have money (and even proved so in a particular incident), but generally he had no interest in it.

It is interesting that in contrast to them, the descendants of the Baal Shem Tov from his daughter, Odel,[1] were much more famous—her eldest son, the Degel Machaneh Ephraim, was famous, and even more so his younger brother, Rebbe Baruch of Mezhibuzh. Of course, there was more to them than just what was revealed, as is known from the parable comparing a tzaddik to an iceberg,[2] where only ten percent is above water and visible while the other ninety percent is submerged and invisible; but their “visible ten percent” was famous. In the next generation as well, Odel’s grandson, the son of her daughter Feige—Rebbe Nachman of Breslov—was very famous.[3]

We should contemplate why the offspring through the Ba’al Shem Tov’s son were more hidden, while those from his daughter were more famous.

Controversy and the Dissemination of Chassidus

Tzaddikim said[4] that if, after the passing of the Ba’al Shem Tov, all the disciples had accepted his son, Rebbe Tzvi, as their Rebbe, there would have been no disputes between the tzaddikim throughout the continuation of the Chasidic movement. Similarly, they said[5] that if after the passing of the Maggid of Mezritch, everyone had accepted the Me’or Einayim, Rebbe Menachem Nachum of Chernobyl as rebbe, there would have been no disputes regarding the way in which Chasidut should be practiced.

It is written[6] that there was a connection between Rebbe Tzvi and the Me’or Einayim. The Ba’al Shem Tov came to the Me’or Einayim in a dream and asked him to look after his son, Rebbe Tzvi, and from then until the end of his life, he supported him. Rebbe Tzvi gave a great gift to the Me’or Einayim—the Torah scroll of the Ba’al Shem Tov. I do not know if it exists today, but presumably, it existed until the Holocaust. This was the most precious object in the House of Chernobyl.

What the Tzaddik Wants, What God Wants

Let us return to the distinction with which we began, between the Baal Shem Tov’s descendants through his son, who were relatively hidden, and his descendants from his daughter Odel who were famous:

It must be posited that within a tzaddik, there is what he wants, and there is what God wants from him. The tzaddik desires to be hidden, like all tzaddikim who did not wish to be revealed. However, God has other thoughts. King Solomon says, “many thoughts are in a man’s heart.” The tzaddik’s pure heart is laden with thoughts on how to conceal himself, but they will not be successful, for “God’s counsel is what will stand.”[7]

It is known[8] that the Ba’al Shem Tov found it very difficult to reveal himself; he resisted and it had to be decreed upon him to reveal himself. Like Moses, who refused God’s mission with all his might, the Ba’al Shem Tov wanted to remain hidden, but God wanted him to be revealed. From this we learn that what a person thinks is suitable for them is not always their true destiny, which is what God wants from them. These are two sides of the soul.

Both aspects are expressed in our children: the sons reveal the parent’s conscious will while the daughters (and their sons after them) reveal what God wants from the person. A simple example can demonstrate this: a father wants to remain in the Beit Midrash and learn Torah all the days of his life, and he teaches his son to do the same—to learn like him and even surpass him in learning. The daughter, however, tells her father she needs to get married and he had better prepare a fine dowry for her. To that end he must go into the world and conduct himself realistically so that he can provide for her needs.[9] In doing so, the daughter aims for God’s will regarding the father, which is described in the Talmud with the well-known idiom that one should perform his mitzvah obligations in a worldly way[10] (הַנְהֵג בָּהֶן מִנְהַג דֶּרֶךְ אֶרֶץ), meaning that one should set aside time not only for Torah but also for work. This is known as living a life of “Torah with Derech Eretz.”[11] Indeed, the sages continue to tell us that “Many individuals strove to follow Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai [who dedicated himself exclusively to Torah but they did not succeed [and ultimately abandoned their Torah learning.” This is because most people are governed by the verse, “He [God] did not create it [the earth] to remain uninhabited [or uncivilized]”—God did not intend that this individual strive to isolate and conceal himself—rather, “He formed it [the earth] to be inhabited”[12]—God intends that this individual take an active part in settling the world, starting with the commandment to “be fruitful and multiply,”[13] which necessarily requires one to limit their Torah study[14]).[15]

Potential versus Actualization, Past versus Future

As a rule, a person’s true destiny is hidden in their unconscious, and it is revealed specifically by the prudent daughter, who understands [the secret of the sefirah of understanding [binah]) one thing from within another[16] thanks to the extra measure of understanding that was granted to women.[17] One might ask if sons do not also have a special affinity for understanding one thing from another? We find that regarding the candidates for becoming judges noted in parashat Yitro, the Torah tells us that Moses could not find any that were nevonim,[18] i.e., men of understanding. And yet, though we have few descriptions of women in the Torah, one of the few is of the five daughters of Zelophehad who were both discerning in their understanding and exhibited a special love for the Land of Israel,[19] a clear allusion to the notion of Derech Eretz mentioned above—indeed, they were able to see what Moses could not see.[20]

In other words, a son can reveal his father’s past (as well as the present that derives from the past), his primal desire; whereas a daughter is sensitive to her father’s future,[21] his true destiny from God. Past and present are described in Sefer Yetzirah as the depth of the beginning (עֹמֶק רֵאשִׁית) and the depth of the end (עֹמֶק אַחֲרִית),[22] corresponding thus to the son and the daughter, respectively.

Therefore, we often see that the grandson—the daughter’s son—surpasses the grandfather; he reveals things that existed within the grandfather only in potential (b'koach). A tzaddik has dreams he wishes to fulfill. For example, he may dream of writing a commentary on the entire Talmud, but he does not succeed in fulfilling his dream during his lifetime in this world. Even among the great tzaddikim, there are many such dreams. However, the grandchildren, especially from the daughters, sometimes fulfill many of the grandfather’s dreams. The dreams of tzaddikim are connected to their destiny-future (in contrast to the tzaddik’s desire to remain hidden, which is not a dream but his consciously desired reality for the time being, according to his own mind; this is his past, which he wishes to perpetuate in the present and onward, as mentioned). Every dream is a vision for the future, something that does not yet exist in the present, like the dreams of Joseph and Pharaoh—the dream is a kind of prophecy the tzaddik receives, meant to reveal God’s will to him.

In the Ba’al Shem Tov’s case, it was Rebbe Nachman, the son of a daughter of a daughter, who publicized himself even more than the sons of the daughter (Rebbe Baruch and the Degel Machneh Ephraim). He also said that he surpassed the Ba’al Shem Tov, which according to our explanation means he succeeded in revealing and fulfilling the dreams of the Ba’al Shem Tov, which included reaching the Land of Israel, a dream the Ba’al Shem Tov tried to fulfill with his daughter Odel.[23] Rebbe Nachman’s journey greatly angered his uncle, Rebbe Baruch.[24]

The Feminine Future

An example of sons expressing the past while daughters express the future can already be found with Moses. Moses only had two sons and did not strive to have a daughter,[25] apparently following the ruling of Beit Shammai that one fulfills the commandment of procreation by having two sons.[26] This would present a valid reason for why the accepted ruling is that one should have a son and a daughter, the opinion of Beit Hillel, because one must have a way to extend both one’s past (and the present derived from it) and one’s future into the next generation.

Moses possesses the potential of being both the first redeemer and the final redeemer[27]—he brought us out of Egypt and thus played the role of our first redeemer, but he is also meant to bring us out of our current exile making him our final redeemer. But in his lifetime, because he had only sons, he could not fulfill his role of being our final redeemer, nor did his sons and grandsons fulfill his potential. This would also explain why he was not permitted to enter the Land of Israel. Note that Joshua, who did enter the Land of Israel, had only daughters,[28] to which we may add that a student, relative to his teacher, is likened to a daughter.[29]

In Chabad, too, there is an example of this principle. The Mittler Rebbe, Rebbe Dov Ber Schenuri was the son of Rebbe Schneur Zalman of Liadi, the founder of Chabad. As famous as he was as a Rebbe who published Chasidut in abundance, his character was that of a hidden tzaddik. This reached its pinnacle when, as he neared his final days, he travelled to the burial place of his father, the Alter Rebbe to ask him for permission to depart from this world.[30] After him came the Tzemach Tzedek who made great efforts to publicize the teachings of Chasidut in the world, also by virtue of being known as a great genius in the revealed Torah. Under his leadership, Chabad reached its peak size.[31] The Tzemach Tzedek was the son of the Alter Rebbe’s daughter, Devorah Leah.[32] The Alter Rebbe said to his grandson, the Tzemach Tzedek, “I am the Written Torah of Chasidut and you are its Oral Torah.[33] Just like daughters in relation to their fathers, the Oral Torah reveals the potential hidden within the Written Torah.

"In the Merit of Righteous Women"

To conclude, we have said three similar, but not identical, things:

  1. The son inherits from his father what he wants, and the daughter inherits what God wants from him.
  2. The son is the revelation of his father's conscious mind, and the daughter reveals his unconscious, i.e., his hidden potential.
  3. And very similarly, almost identically: The son is the past-leading-to-the-present of the father, and the daughter is his future.

This offers us a new appreciation of the sages’ statement, “A daughter [born] first is a good sign for [the birth of] sons”[34] (בַּת תְּחִלָּה סִימָן יָפֶה לְבָנִים). Every daughter is in her essence “a daughter [born] first” because she is the beginning of a new revelation that until now existed only in potential. The plain meaning of this statement is that she is a good sign for [the birth of] sons for her parents, but following our approach, we may say that she is a good sign for [the birth of her] sons, thereby revealing her parents’ concealed potential. Kabbalistically, this is known as the mother principle [the intellect] that gives birth to sons, referring to the revealed emotive faculties of the heart: loving-kindness (chesed) and might (gevurah).

The idea that girls preserve the future can be seen at the inception of the Jewish nation. The Torah relates that Pharaoh thought the essence of the People of Israel is in their sons and therefore commanded the Hebrew midwives, “Every son that is born you shall cast into the river, and every daughter you shall save.”[35] But the midwives, the heroines of parashat Shemot (and the entire Book) exhibited tremendous self-sacrifice and disobeyed Pharaoh, “and they saved the male children”[36] out of concern for the nation’s future. Pharaoh erred in thinking that the daughters of Israel presented no danger because they could more easily be subdued and assimilated into Egypt. Therefore, it was “in the merit of righteous women that we were redeemed from Egypt.”[37], and in their merit, we are destined to be redeemed in the final redemption as well,[38] speedily in our days.

With all that we have seen, we can address a question that is raised regarding the Mashiach: Must the Mashiach son of David descend patrilineally (son after son) from David, or is it possible he will be of mixed lineage or matrilineally descended from David? According to what we have explained, he will be specifically a son after daughter. Indeed, by God’s will, the destruction of the First Temple and subsequently the Hasmonean Kingdom interrupted the patrilineal lineage of the House of David. Patrilineal lineage preserves the past, while God preferred an emergence of a new potential future through David’s daughters. Consequently (as can be shown scientifically), pretty much every single Jew is fit to be the Mashiach and, importantly, there is no need to check the Mashiach’s lineage.[39]

[1]. Odel in Hebrew (אָדֵל) is famously the initials of the phrase (Deuteronomy 33:2), “[from His right hand] the fire of His decree, to us” (מִימִינוֹ אֵשׁ דָּת לָמוֹ). See Kerem Yisrael (Zack), ch. 4, note 2.

[2]. See Ma'ayan Ganim vol. 2, “Kel Mistater,” p. 173.

[3]. The value of the four names in Rebbe Nachman’s lineage—Israel, Odel, Feige, Nachman (יִשְׂרָאֵל אָדֵל פֶיְיגֶּא נַחְמָן)—is equal to 4 times the value of “light” (אוֹר), the average value of each name and implying revelation.

[4]. Ma'amar Mordechai (Slonim), s.v. Rebbe Tzvi §1.

[5]. Amarot Tehorot, Meor Einayim §18.

[6]. Zichronam Livrachah, s.v. Rebbe Tzvi son of the Ba’al Shem Tov.

[7]. Proverbs 19:21.

[8]. Sefer HaToldot, Rabbi Yisrael Besht, vol. 1, ch. 2, p. 37ff).

[9]. See Ketubot 52b.

[10]. Berachot 35b.

[11]. Avot 2:2. Indeed, the sages go so far as to say that, “Derech Eretz preceded the Torah” (Tanna Debei Eliyahu Rabbah, ch. 1), which refers not only to chronological precedence but also also to precedence in status (see Tzemach Tzedek’s Or HaTorah Bereishit vol. 3, 583a). Given that Derech Eretz represents God’s will and full-time learning represents man’s will, this represents the precedence of the crown—God’s will—to wisdom—Torah—that which man wants.

[12]. Isaiah 45:18. See also Mishnah Gittin 4:5.

[13]. Genesis 1:22; 1:28; 9:1; 9:7. See Wonders issue 168, “The Year of the Family.”

[14]. Ben Azzai claimed, “And what shall I do, for my soul lusts for Torah; it is possible for the world to be sustained by others” (Yevamot 63b). However, the words, “my soul lusts” indicates that this is my desire, not God’s will, and the others you would like to rely on will not birth the souls that you could birth—they will not realize your potential (i.e., what your future holds, as will be explained). Consequently, Messiah cannot come because the souls in the guf (the treasury of souls) have not been exhausted (Yevamot ibid.), which symbolizes the potential of each Jew. Nevertheless, every rule has an exception, and one should view Ben Azzai favorably for acting according to his conviction, with boldness toward Heaven. Maimonides and the Taz disagree whether his conduct is appropriate ab initio for one whose soul lusts for Torah like him, or if merely “he bears no sin.” It seems that Chasidut sides with the Taz, as the great Chassidic figures did not act like Ben Azzai at all).

[15]. This constitutes an inner reason for why a man is forbidden to teach his daughter Torah (Mishnah Sotah 3:4 and Hilchot Talmud Torah 1:13), so she is not subsumed in his desire (reflecting his past, as will be explained) instead of demanding that which God wants from him (his future destiny).

[16]. See Rashi on Deuteronomy 1:13.

[17]. Niddah 45b.

[18]. Eiruvin 100b.

[19]. Rashi on Numbers 26:64.

[20]. Rashi on Ibid. 27:7.

[21]. The moment one looks at the future (i.e., what God wants), the present is also included in it—every moment of the present is the future of the past moment, meaning what God wants now. This can be seen in the phrase, “to be ready (atidim) for this day” (Esther 3:14), which means to be prepared and summoned in the present moment for the future that is coming. Numerically, “present-future” (הֹוֶה עָתִיד) has the same value as “Be fruitful and multiply” (פְּרוּ וּרְבוּ), the mitzvah most connected to the concept of actualizing potential.

[22]. Sefer Yetzirah speaks of 10 depths, each corresponding to one of the Ten Sefirot. The depth of the beginning and the depth of the end correspond to the sefirot of wisdom and understanding, respectively. See commentaries on Sefer Yetzirah 1:5 and Pri Etz Chaim, Sha’ar Tefillot Rosh HaShanah, ch. 7.

[23]. Si’ach Sarfei Kodesh (Breslov), vol. 2, §1306

[24]. Avaneha Barzel 15. See Chayei Moharan 393.

[25]. This provides another point of intersection between Moses and Joseph who also had only two sons, the secret of “And Moses took the bones of Joseph with him” (Exodus 13:19); see also Wonders issue 180 (parashat Beshalach 5786), pp. 12ff.

[26]. Yevamot 61b. The dispute between Beit Shammai and Beit Hillel aligns with their views regarding the creation of heaven and earth (Bereishit Rabbah 1:15): According to Beit Shammai, the heavens came first and since the heavens are masculine relative to the earth that is feminine, this implies two spiritual sons without a daughter-Earth. According to Beit Hillel, the heart was created first, implying a daughter first, in the sense of “the end of the deed arises first in thought” because she represents God’s will.

[27]. See Shemot Rabbah 4:2; Zohar 1:253a; Sha’ar HaPesukim Vayechi; Torah Or 75b.

[28]. Megillah 14b.

[29]. Indeed, the true student is one about whom the sages say, “[I have learnt] From my students more than from all of them” (Ta’anit 7a and Makkot 10a). He is then regarded as a daughter, regarding whom it is fitting to say, “He did not move from loving her until he called her ‘my mother’” (Shemot Rabbah 52:5).

[30]. Sefer HaToladot Admur HaEmtzai, ch. 10. Indeed, the Mitteler Rebbe himself had mostly daughters, from whom the lineage of the Chabad rebbes, continued.

Tradition states that the holy Ohr HaChaim also had only daughters, for whom he wrote his commentary on the Torah (in the name of the Rebbe Moharash. See HaTamim issue 2, p. 78 and Iggerot Kodesh Rayatz vol. 3, Letter 818).

[31]. See Memoirs of Rabbi Yehuda Chitrik (Teshurah Goldschmid, 5767), ch. 4.

[32]. See Hayom Yom for the 28th of Iyar. The Alter Rebbe told his grandson, the Tzemach Tzedek, “A man inseminates first, she bears a female” (Niddah 31a) describes your mother, Devorah Leah and “A woman inseminates first, she bears a male” refers to you.

[33]. See Iggerot Kodesh Admur Rayatz vol. 4, p. 266.

[34]. Bava Batra 141a.

[35]. Exodus 1:22.

[36]. Ibid. v. 17.

[37]. See Sotah 11b.

[38]. Yalkut Shimoni Ruth, 606.

[39]. See Pri Tzadik for Chanukah, 1 and Takkanat HaShavin, 5 (and the sources cited there).

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