Marital Harmony

Q: My wife and I have always had a reasonably good relationship. However, since I have become observant, we seem to be growing in different directions. How can I rectify this situation?


A: An essential part of the nature of a Jewish soul is that it aspires to be in accord with the present reality of the world. For this reason, we were chosen by G-d to change the world for the better. We accomplish this through Torah and mitzvot.

The Torah has already told us that by keeping the mitzvot in full, we will appear wise to all the nations. If we do not keep the mitzvot, the opposite occurs.

Only greater and deeper learning of Torah, Jewish Law and Chassidut can implant this awareness. You and your wife should study Torah topics together on a regular basis.

Actions based on chosen lifestyles do not separate between people. Only negative feelings of the heart do so. As you pursue your chosen lifestyle of Torah and mitzvot, ever radiate great love and compassion for your wife, parents and everyone you know. In this way they will surely respect the lifestyle you have chosen and all of your interpersonal relationships will be rectified.

G-d willing, they themselves will then be drawn closer to Torah observance.

Of course, all of life's difficulties are a rectification for things we know and understand, as well as for much that we don't understand. The Rebbe always taught that in such cases, love and compassion are the most important tools. True love rectifies all.

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