Everyone agrees that we desperately need national unity. But how do we transition from quarrel and division – based on deep differences of opinion and fueled by feelings of persecution, deprivation, and threat – to reconciliation and love of fellow Jews?
Just as we believe in the Blessed One, so must we believe in every Jew, believe in their good-will and the hidden love within them – love for God and love for Israel. The feeling, especially amidst quarrel – that love is needed here, the awakening to love one's fellow, and the inner anticipation to receive love from them, are clear signs that the time for reconciliation has come.
One might think that to reconcile and unite, we need to blur the differences of opinion that existed and start anew. Ultimately, however, the differences of opinion will not disappear, and repressing them will only help in the short term. The true path to reconciliation, whose goal is the genuine restoration of love, passes specifically through argument and rebuke, where each person puts the issues in which they feel the other has wronged them on the table. When problems are brought to light out of a desire to reconcile, the way to rectification is paved. In a genuine discussion, each person understands the other's concerns, and even discovers that there is some justice in the other’s claims, and can clarify himself and correct misimpressions. Most importantly, much of the drama subsides, and we understand that the suspicion that the other is acting 'deliberately', to anger me, is nothing but imagination. Sometimes there were no problems at all, and sometimes it wasn't ideology or a desire to irritate, but simply the evil inclination that they have just like I do… After I have rebuked my fellow for his shortcomings, I can also bear them and forgive them, and thereby overlook what seemed to me to be directed against me. When there is a true and open discussion, the love that is created afterward is sincere and genuine.
Indeed, to conduct an argument properly, culminating in forgiveness, reconciliation, and the restoration of deep love, one must mature – move from constricted consciousness to expanded consciousness. A person who is in constricted consciousness tends towards excessive emotionality and is incapable of genuine discussion. In his heart is a desire for unity, in a somewhat emotional and childish manner, but the moment he enters into an argument, he becomes inflamed, hurt, and angry. In contrast, a person who is in a state of expanded consciousness can contemplate and discuss matters maturely, without excessive drama. Hence, he can see his fellow's point of view, explain himself calmly and clearly, and bring the argument to productive channels. This will ultimately lead to forgiveness and understanding, and even to the recognition that different perspectives complement each other and are necessary to progress together toward the shared destiny of the Jewish people.
We all feel the awakening and aspiration for love today, both from our realization of the damage caused by division and from the sense of mutual responsibility and dedication revealed during wartime. Now it is time to mature, to declare 'Let's be grown-ups already, let's stop behaving like little children.' Then we can argue with a generous and positive approach, and reach deeper love and unity. When we succeed in making peace among ourselves, the path will be paved to reconcile with our Father in Heaven as well. With a state of expanded consciousness, including the possibility of open and mind-reconciling debate, we will be able to transition from the quarrel of exile to the love of redemption.
